Sunday, October 21, 2012

So, this should be totally great and not awkward at all.

I've always found the first sentence the most difficult one. Actually, this was my fourth attempt at a first sentence, which, though powered with ungodly amounts of dark rye bread and apple pie (don't you dare judge me for my breakfast choices, it's Sunday, still turned out to be pretty mehmeramehmeh, but I'll roll with it. To be honest, I've honestly absolutely zero ideas, why I'm writing all of this babble right now, since, in the end, it'll still have the deep and philosophical meaning of a diaper, but I guess that sometimes you just need to write. Just. Write. Simple as that (also, has any of you ever noticed how pretty the large Q letter looks in the drafts mode? Just. Q. QQQ. Q. ahhhh).
It's weird to think how much has changed since my last post in February 2011. Back then I was a high school student, about to begin my senior year in the fall and about to make a complete "wut" of myself in June's DELF B.2 French exam. Also, I had a very unhealthy obsession with baked goods and an even unhealthier one with my pants size and, needless to say, these two weren't exactly a match made in heaven. Also, trying to figure out what to do with my life wasn't exactly all sugarplums and fairycups. So, completely logically, I did what every responsible person with the mental capacity of an Easter bunny would do - completely and absolutely ditched writing altogether. So, here I present to you "whads been boilin dowwwn" (also read under the section: "How To Successfully Humiliate Yourself On The Internet By Pretending To Be An Australian Gangsta Swag Swag"):
1. I graduated from High School July 2012, with pretty good marks, but not so good finals results, which furthermore led to a kick in the buttcheeks by the University of Glasgow, which then furthermore led to me holding the entire country's economy just by buying Kleenex products for about two weeks straight.
2. Accepted a university offer in the south of France, went there, spent a good 100 Euros on probably baguettes and Nutella alone, since, you know, baguettes and Nutella and baguettes and Nutella, and we musnt't forget my third and strongest point, baguettes and Nutella, spent about 2 months there, til I understood that I was kind of just wasting my time there, since the classes kept getting pushed more and more back and one of my core subjects didn't, well...happen at all, which was a bit disappointing, cause I would have actually enjoyed doing, you know, stuufff.
. Oh, also, while we're on the topic "My Fabulous Life In France", got diagnosed with a super enlarged heart, so, yes, my heart is literally wide as the ocean. Fun times.
4. Returned to my blissfully supersoft bed and the autumn of +5 degrees, instead of +30 degrees, so, yeah, Finland definitely knows how to kick you out of the ugh-only-25-degrees-today-where's-my-polar-bear-fur-coat France mode. And I love it here.
There are some more things, quite important as well, might I add, that I have discovered this year besides all this jazz (like, that you should never mix aspirin with ibuprofen. Or try to fry cucumber when bored), but these, I guess, where the most important things. I would really like to say that these were also the things that made me quit writing, but I guess I wouldn't be completely hundred percent if I said that, cause mostly the reason for this kind of thing is us ourselves, not some exterior conditions. Sometimes we get tired, sometimes we get lost, bored, sad, unable to decide whether you should add another tablespoon of paprika to what now looks more like a dead skunk than a stroganoff. These kind of things. The small pieces that kinda kick you off balance. And sometimes these small things add up and kinda crash down on you like a lousy piano its previous owner has decided to get rid of and you are the poor bastard standing beneath his balcony, reading some Danielle Steel novel and choking back tears, because a) you will never experience a love like that; b)why can't men like that exist in real life? c) this chocolate chipmunk donut. ohmygod. this donut. ohmygod. And when you have had a piano crash on your head, writing kinda doesn't seem too tempting anymore. But, at the same time, it doesn't mean that just because you once had that sad experience with piano and the even more tragic one of having actually picked up a Danielle Steele book, you will wind up in that situation again. So, huzzah for cold autumns, huzzah for academic years, huzzah for is-that-a-Health-Science-program-starting-next-autumn-HERE?, huzzah for good friends, huzzah for apple pies and huzzah for writing. Whatcha been up to?
currant of the day: Lou Doillon - ICU

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I`m kind of back. No. Scratch that. I am back.

In the past month (with a tail of 12 days), I`ve had a lot of sleepless nights. I`ve also had a lot of blank staring out of the window, thinking what I really want and what I really want to be/become. I`ve had some dreams shattered, but from those dark red bricks of which the old ones were made, I now have constructed some new ones. If one thinks of a person as of a city, well, I was a bombed city. Still alive and going, but a lot of those buildings were in pieces next to my feet. Now those buildings are reconstructed, unnecessary ones have been kicked down completely and their ruins have been swept away and new ones have been built. A lot of new ones.
The thing is that I think that for some time I was pretending to be someone, who I wasn`t. Someone, who people expected me to be. But every story has to end. And after I had understood, that I couldn`t be anymore who I was, I had to search for a new one. Start building. But I couldn`t do it, til I hadn`t a solid substructure. And now I think that I know, who I want to be and what I want to accomplish.
It was a bit sad to tear down the old building of me. It was with a lot of towers, with creamy walls, flags fluttering in the sky. But it was pretty cold and it felt like it wasn`t right for me. Like I was in a golden cage. And it was hard to break it down, because not only I was afraid of what I`ll do next and what will happen, but also of letting go of some people. Because I had thought, that they were my friends, but the reality turned out to be a bit different.
Now it`s all gone. It`s kind of bittersweet. To look back at all of my life and finally understand what a fool I had been, why had I done that and that and remembering that something, that means almost nothing now, then meant the world to me. And I`ve been foolish, childish, ignoring what I wanted and instead listening to what other people told me I had to do. And it has been my greatest mistake - not understanding, that I am the only person, who can make myself happy. Let myself be happy. Happiness is what begins from yourself and if one can`t see that, then no amount money will make you feel that way.
Though there is no castle anymore, there is a house. It`s a warm, small house, smelling of pines and sea and I feel finally feel happy there.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

this is a "see you soon".

hey dears!

sorry for not writing for so long, it`s been a very hectic time for me. chaos in all possible areas you can imagine - starting from my bookcase to my thoughts. so, i`m going to be on a small break.This definetely doesn`t me that i`m shutting down or anything of the kind, I just need to somehow make a very early spring cleaning in my small thought box and understand, what it is I really want/think/feel/etc. I`ll write as soon as it`ll be possible.
and just so you know - i love you all very much and thanks to each and every one of you who has ever bothered to read one post on this tiny, feathery blog. you mean the world to me.

be back as soon as possible :)


Thursday, December 23, 2010

christmas warmth in fingertips

Last night was amazing. I went to the Yule ball of the school, which actually was pretty much a huge fail, cause after the last year`s ball nobody wanted to come this year`s. So, basically, there were 4 couples (like, the i-love-you-so-much-hugs-kisses-smooch-smooch couples) and the rest people were just sitting. Including me. So, after about 2 hours of enjoying our school`s super comfy wooden chairs, me and two of my friends had had enough and we decided to go to this other school`s Yule ball, sooo, we went there and had a blast. I think that I can definetely call it one of the best nights of my life. Honestly. Even though I had forgoten my shoes at school and danced bare-footed. Yes, I wore my black-one-shoulder dress, had my french manicure and old-hollywood curls and I danced to Westlife barefooted and loved every bit of it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact, that all my dance partners were pretty cute and danced very, very well. So, yeah. And I haven`t slept for two nights, because this Tuesday one of my best friend`s Ieva stayed at my place and we went to bed only at about 4am and yesterday it was the Yule ball and I was simply too excited after all of it to fall asleep. So, in total in 48 hours, I have had about 5 hours of sleep. Woot woot! And today the holidays started and I`m off to Berlin tomorrow morning (I need to be at the airport at 5am. funfunfun. I still haven`t packed. Which means zero hours of sleep tonight again. (I`m secretly starting to like this)).

and merry christmas, kids! I`m sending a hug to each and everyone of you out there, hope you get it via heart mail. ^^

currant of the day: ellie goulding - your song

Saturday, December 18, 2010

the winner of the giveaway is...

congrats to sbot!

please contact me at to receive your gift card! :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Time for another giveaway! It is provided by lovelies of CSN stores and yet again I got pretty amazed when I saw that they even have bright green briefcases, which I had never seen before in my life, but I must admit, they`re pretty awesome. ^ They are offering a 45$ gift code to use in any of their 200+ stores!

So, to enter this giveaway:
1. You must be a follower of this blog.
2. Tell me one thing you love about winter (if there is one, if not - choose your fave season!)
3. If you like (this rule is not obligatory), go to and tell me which item you love the best! :)

This giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents only this time and you can enter it til 17th of December, midnight GMT +2.

ImaginationCo, aka, Sabine

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

my favourite songs + bands. november 30th, 2010.

1. Coldplay
I know, I know. So cliché. But there`s just something so...magical in their music, that when I listen to them, it makes me forget all my troubles and lets me return to my neverland, where it`s eternal summer, where I can wake up to sun shining through my treehouse window, where there are gardens, smelling of apples and friends, and candles that smell like coffee and home. and where the sky always feels soft and heavy, like a feathered pillow in a stormy night.

2. Damien Rice
I discovered him about a year ago. I was just randomly changing radio stations, as I often do, and it was about three in the morning and I couldn`t fall asleep and after I had changed the stations for about 15 minutes, I bumped into some station which I`m pretty sure, I hadn`t listened to ever before, and "9 crimes" was on. Back then I didn`t know the artist of the song or the name of the song itself, but all I know that it somehow managed to fall in my heart and it made me really sentimental. Could have been the lyrics, the melody, the snow falling in large crystalic dance outside my window and covering the usually brown ground with a soft white blanket, that warmed my tired soul or it could have been it all in a large whirl of tenderness, but the song somehow clicked with me. And it`s still one of my favourites today.

3. A-ha
Though I`m not a fan of the 80`s, I can`t not love this song. I remember listening to A-ha as a kid, then stopping for some unknown reason, and rediscovering them last year with "Foot Of The Mountain". But my favourite song is actually this one below. And there isn`t a thing I would change about it.